Twenty-five Things

There is this Facebook (yes I know) trend right now that involves coming up with 25 random things about yourself, then sharing that with your friends in the hope that they will do the same. Now, as much as I enjoy Facebook I thought that the List might be more fun to do here where in 5 years I can look back at it. Here goes - enjoy, and try out your own list!

1. I have only ever had one ear infection; I was 16.
2. I've always been afraid to die by fire and water.
3. I get sick on roller-coasters.
4. I love pretty much every fruit or vegetable I've ever met ;-)
5. I've kept some sort of journal since before I was in high school.
6. I'm missing part of my ring finger.
7. I hate emptying the dishwasher.
8. I love Sunrises
9. I hate watching Golf on TV
10. I love going to baseball games
11. I like my coffee black, but sometimes I enjoy something sweet too ;-)
12. I LOVE snow, watching snow, shoveling snow, etc
13. I've never been stung by a bee
14. Too often I'm a people pleaser - I'm working on that
15. I'm not really a "baby" kinda person, I enjoy kiddos when they're around 3-6
16. I'm dyslexic
17. I hate spiders
18. I've been to Europe, South America, and Canada
19. I want to visit Africa
20. I've never wanted to live on an island because if there I've always imagined it sinking under the sea...(which is stupid - God numbers our days anyways).
21. My mom is my best friend, and knows me better then anyone else
22. There isn't one person I know that I can't say at least one good thing about
23. I told God that I didn't want to get married until I could say that I didn't need anyone else but Jesus to sustain me, hehe it hasn't happened yet...on either counts.
24. War of the Worlds was a movie that disturbed me for days after I saw it
25. I love to snuggle

That was fun! I know its a REALLY random noninclusive list, but who knows that gives me room to do another one later!

Patron Saint of Carpentry

Take a look at the current housing market and it doesn't take much to understand how poor Saint Joseph the Catholic Patron Saint of Carpentry, Housing, and Real Estate is getting quite the work out. To understand this story one must understand that WOT has been attending a Catholic women's Bible study for at least three years or so, with some of the sweetest God seeking women I've met. Thus, when these ladies heard that WOT's house was going to be put on the market they quickly suggested (with quiet chuckles) that the Protestant among them attempt the tradition of burying Saint Joseph upside down in their back yard for a quick sale. Now, I must admit that as much as I LOVE these ladies, and I have several wonderful Catholic friends; I totally cracked up when WOT told me this. First off, there is about three feet of snow in my parents yard, so to bury Saint Joseph would require not only snow removal, but some pick-ax action to break through the frozen earth. This job - were it to be attempted would be delegated to my poor father who upon the suggestion said "forget it". Now WOT did testify to her ladies that we have sold houses in 1 day before with a little prayer and faith, so attempting the Saint Joseph route might be over kill. That said, my wonderful mother - God bless her - was given children with very active imaginations, and with the description of this tradition I suggested to her that perhaps we could just bury St Joseph in the giant snow drift by the drive way...I mean come on now, no one will have to see it, and it's a lot less difficult to dig in. This then led to the envisioning of poor St Joseph on a sunny day having his snowy grave melted away would, and thus rolling into the street where he might be decapitated by a passing car. At this point I couldn't help but chuckle at the thought of trying to super glue his head back on so when we gave him back to the Catholic Ladies they wouldn't know that St Joseph had been in a hit and run. Figuring that this train of thought was bordering on sacrilegious, and that perhaps burying Joseph in the snow was not the best option after all I jokingly suggested that we just pray to the Patron Saint Jesus the Master Carpenter. The other end of the phone was quiet for a second before WOT exclaimed, "you know what, I don't know that the ladies have ever thought about Jesus as the master carpenter". We laughed as I teased about us Protestants praying to the Patron St Jesus. How true it is though, that while God could have made it so we have to go to the Saints before "getting through", He instead gave us "Saint" Jesus who lives and dwells within us. He knows our every need, and how well He provides for us!! That said, I in no way am poking fun at the Catholic ladies' suggestion (I have the utmost respect for the Saints of old), but just out of a different perspective received a little revelation into the wonderful nature of this God we all serve both Catholic and Protestant alike. I do know that my father is ever so grateful to not be sent out into the backyard with the pick-ax!!

Bathrobe Stories (2 of many) - Frolic

The door to the garage slammed shut behind the two tousle headed children from my previous story, with the exception that this time their hair was slightly better bushed, and they had managed to find pairs of hand-me-down jeans and multi-colored t-shirts before rushing out for morning chores. Mom was sure to dole out punishment if the horses and cows weren't fed before school, and that meant there was plenty of work to be done before eight. The late spring sun was out in force, and a gentle breeze blew down the valley carrying with it the warm smell of plowed dirt and cows. The farmer across the road had only yesterday moved twenty or so head of cows into our pastures to graze in return for some hay from his fields come fall harvest. Some of his Alfalfa fields were directly across the road the plants almost a foot tall, and so dense it appeared to be a never ending bed of soft green.

Excited by the visitors the girls needed no convincing this morning to vacate their beds. The horses were watered, given their grain, and turned out into the back field to roll in the soft dirt. Not wanting to be forgotten several of the barn cats raised their voices and wove among the girl's legs until the food bowl was replenished and backs had been scratched. Not lingering in the main barn the two ran across the yard to the South pasture where Mr. Neal's cows were enjoying the first warming rays of the day. Several of the large reddish Herefords moved to the gate where the girls were arms reaching through the wide horizontal slates in the red swinging metal gate. Their small hands had grabbed clumps of grass on the way over, and now were held palms up as warm wet noses blew puffs of air on their skin, scattering the grass offerings to the ground, and making the girls giggle in turn. The ruff skin on the cows' noses was nothing compared to the sandpaper texture of their tongues as the girls let the long giraffe like tongues twist around their hands searching for some small treat. What could have been an all day affair between bovines and girls ended with a call from the house reminding them that there was work of the paper kind calling. Thus the cows were left for a later time, and two sets of feet raced back into the garage and into the house where mom was waiting.

Settling her energetic pair into language arts mom was finally able to turn her thoughts towards a shower and clothes when the drama of the day began. It all started when from the perfect perspective looking out of the front upstairs window both girls saw several cows meander into view in the front lawn. A quick call for mom had the house in an uproar! The cows had somehow escaped the pasture! The girls; school forgotten took the stairs by twos, and reached the front door as mom was dialing Mr. Neal's number. In her blue bathrobe and bare feet mom stood on the front porch to tell the farmer that he'd best come from his farm over the crest of the hill to help round up the five or six loose animals now trespassing through her gardens. To assist my reader in understanding the necessity of a hasty collection and return of the unfortunate cows to their enclosure, one must understand that half a mile down the road the ran in front of the house was a larger and much busier road. It was with this fact in mind that mom abandoned the idea of changing into something more appropriate, and instead sought out her rubber work boots; pulled on under the famous bathrobe, and joined the girls in herding the cattle. Before long Mr. Neal had joined in the efforts and all but one lonely cow were happily back behind the fence. This singular cow had decided that it would rather see the world then be relegated back behind the fence, and therefore it had set off down the road in the direction of the busy main highway. Mom, animal lover that she is was picturing a hamburger in the making if the poor creature was not diverted from its path. With the help of Mr. Neal and both girls mom started to chase the cow down the road yelling "we have to get it to stop before it gets hit!". It did not take long to chase the cow off the road and into the adjacent alfalfa field where due to the high grass the going became much more difficult. Mom with her bathrobe hiked up to allow her to run through the grass, and us all following behind had managed to get the cow at least headed away from the main road and towards Mr. Neal's barn over the hill. Mind on the safety of the cow, poor mom was in no way prepared for the deer that suddenly leaped from its nest in the alfalfa, and darted away across the field. The height of the grass had completely concealed the deer, but our noisy approach had scared it into flight. Mom taken so completely off guard screamed and almost fell over. So unbelievable was the event, and so hilarious was mom in her bathrobe screaming that Mr. Neal did fall over...laughing. The two girls could hardly breath, as they all momentarily forgot about the cow.

Fortunately, the cow was safely returned to greener pastures, and while it took mom a long time too she also recovered. Thus, the bathrobe participated in another momentous occasion, one that lives down in infamy.

Bathrobe Stories (1 of many) - The Bunny

As most mothers have found out life does not always wait for the most convenient of times, and there will be moments where you are pressed into dealing with a situation unprepared. Thus, I have put together a short collection of stories honoring the oftentimes hilarious moments of unpreparedness.


*******
It must have been a Saturday. As observed through the kitchen windows it was also one of those beautiful sunny starts to the weekend. The sun was shining, the horses were out grazing in the pasture behind the house, and several of the barn cats were starting their sunbathing early in the driveway next to the barn. In family tradition Saturday mornings entailed Dad, cup of coffee in hand, standing over the stove making pancakes. Swinging the spatula by the handle like a plastic pendulum he would wait until some undisclosed moment when the perfectly round pancake was ready, and with practiced ease would flip the pancake golden brown side up. It was really almost an art.

Not more then ten feet away two bright eyed girls under the age of eight sat at the round kitchen table, legs drawn up and crossed in their chairs. Reused plastic Pizza Hut kid cups sat before them half filled with Orange juice. Plates and silverware had already been set, and a glass Aunt Jemima syrup bottle Dad insisted on refilling and reusing sat ready for eager hands to pour. Their tousled bedheads bobbed as they carried on a lively and diverse chatter with Dad; which usually led to plenty of laughs.

Mom would come down the stairs garbed in her thick royal blue cotton bathrobe, and Dad would make some comment about "it" being "alive", which usually led to the rolling of the eyes and some exclamatory noise from Dad as he gave voice to Mom's displayed consternation. Giggles would break out from the direction of the kitchen table, as all enjoyed the jesting.

This Saturday as described was much like any other Saturday, and before long the entire family sat around the table with syrupy lips and satisfied tummies. The weekend tranquility was soon interrupted however by a very loud, very distressed scream. Chairs were shoved back, and faces pressed up against the kitchen window in the hopes of seeing what was causing such a ruckus. Unfortunately the screaming had a source. One of the barn cats could be seen trotting very proudly down the driveway towards the barn with a baby rabbit in its mouth. The rabbit who sounded more like a human infant was letting the whole world know that it did not want to be breakfast for some hungry cat. Fortunately for the rabbit Mother inherited a tender heart for all living things from her mother, and before we all knew it she had raced to the front door flung it open and took off barefooted, bathrobe flapping towards the barn yelling at the top of her lungs, "you let that bunny go!!". Almost in awe the rest of the family stood frozen at the windows watching her bath-robed form close in on the cat, and then disappear into the barn. What we did not see was Mom following the cat into the hay mow, and diving headfirst into a pile of hay to retrieve the poor bunny from the jaws of certain death. Instead we soon saw Mom emerge from the barn, with an old birdcage in hand which was now home to one very alive rabbit. Hair rumpled and still retaining some stray pieces of hay, and bathrobe disheveled she nevertheless marched proudly from the barn carrying her prize. We being the kind and affectionate family that we were, congratulated her on her success only after first having a very hardy laugh, and describing again in detail the appearance of Mom running across the yard. While Mom may have suffered some in humiliation for the bunny rescue, she most certainly was a hero to the rabbit whom we helped to recover before turning it lose in an alfalfa field down the road.

Thus concludes the first bathrobe story, and you will have to stay tuned for the second. *Please note that I can not claim this story as truth, ;-) but you will just have to draw your own conclusions.

Happy birthday WOT!

January 20th may very well be inauguration day, but here in this family its WOT day...More appropriately WOT's birthday, and although I can't be there to celebrate I'm sure SFL will think of something nice (secretly I'm glad I'm not home */e shudders). How wonderful it is to be able to celebrate the life of people who have not only influenced who we are, but who also fill our lives with love and joy? We do so much for kids on their birthdays, that we really forget that as you get older every birthday really gets more precious. Its a celebration of the struggles, successes, the things we've over come, the work God has done in us, and the very person He is creating! What a better thing to have some cake and ice cream over then a life of beautiful transformation? That said - Happy Birthday Mom!!!

On the topic of inauguration day...I'm sure everyone has an opinion especially today, and I don't really want to get into a debate over it (I'm sure I will say nothing new here). Yes, we can say what we think, act on those thoughts, and even pray for a specific out come, but the ONLY reason any person is placed in a position of power and authority is because the LORD put them there. In my faulty human reasoning I can look at almost any human on earth and find a reason why they would make a horrid leader. However, my view is so limited, and I so often look out of bias. After all, look how the Israelites begged God for a king thinking it would solve all their problems, and God even basically said that you would regret it, but still the people wanted something tangible. Who did they get?? Saul, a wicked king who had a mental breakdown and eventually tried to hunt down David (a man after God's heart). If God knew a king wasn't a good idea why didn't He at least make it so that evil men like Saul were not put in power?? Look at the big picture though - if Saul had never been king then David would never have had the lessons that he did, David would not have met Saul's son (his best friend), and the list goes on. Not only does God work ALL things out for the good of those who serve Him, but He alone puts kings and rulers in their places. Try to remember that today. It isn't just a nice thought to maybe throw in a prayer for our leaders, or maybe only say a couple bad things about them. God said to pray for them (not if you like them). What horrid influences to younger believers are we if we stand and mock the institution the Lord has put in place and allows to stay there? What does that show our kids, when our actions say that we don't trust God to have a good plan? Hmm, it can be so hard to follow that, and I have definitely fallen off the wagon on more then one occasion, but God was good to give me that reminder today. Good or bad leaders they are all under the rule and authority of God who is the ultimate king, and whose rule over my life is truly the only one that matters. I'm going to step off my soap box now, haha I was on it a little to long...

Winter Snap

The past several days have been bitterly cold here, as they have for most of the Eastern US at least. However, I have still managed to get out and do laundry and get groceries as I attempt to drag my way along. I even bundled up from head to toe and went for a walk in the 7 degree morning air. Its funny, with all the suggestions and tips I've received you would think that there would be one that was an instant fix to this now labeled "seasonal depression". One of my sweet friends this morning in an attempt to be encouraging said "Don't worry seasonal depression usually lasts a least 6-12 weeks, so you been at this what about 4, don't be to hard on yourself if you feel blue another 8 weeks or so". Eight WEEKS more I wanted to scream! And that isn't a guarantee just a guess assuming it is seasonal depression. Haha, oh the irony... Fortunately it has been a bit better, just enough so that I feel like I'm riding the fence precariously balanced between feeling 100% back to normal and face planting in some giant pile of muck. I haven't decided yet if all this business that I've thrown myself into is like spraying perfume over a full garbage can, or if it is the path out into the light. I look at my schedule each day hoping that I have something to do to keep my mind off of things. I drag myself to be awake during the day on my days off, so I can be active, and I've even picked up some colored pencils and watercolors to explore the artist inside, hehe. I guess all you can do is keep trekking. We all have our own unique struggles, please don't think I am discounting yours or obsessing that mine is the only one around. Believe me, there are people who are going through things I am only too glad to fore go. This is just more like my little place to dump all the marbles rolling inside my head so its not quite so noisy in there! Thanks for listening ;-)

Update time!

There is good news! All my blood work came back normal, which in retrospect is on the whole a good thing, it would have been sort of nice to have a measurable reason for all this. Thus, it is all in my head...literally. On the positive side, I am doing very well "socializing". I went to church on Sunday even when I wanted to stay home and not take a shower ;-). Today I got up after a little sleep (since I worked last night), and went to the library which I was so excited to get 4 books or so that look awesome, 3 movies to spice up my late nights, and then of course the ultimate stop - dunkin donuts for some caloric endorphins. Tonight we're going to the Nashville House of Prayer for some music, and sisterly bonding. See, I am putting forth a good effort to pull myself back together, that and some help from upstairs! I will have to let you know how some of these books turn out, as I am very excited to get a start reading them. I know that I'm also suppose to be working on writing some of my own, but right now I'm finding it difficult to get a topic/interest/or plot. I can write little snippets, or on here, but the thought of working on a plot is a little daunting, but I really need to so that I can go to next months writers meet up with something in hand.../e wishes there was a writing genie...If you have any thoughts, ideas, or suggestions let me know ;-) Who knows perhaps you'll be the inspiration for the next worst novel hehe!

Overhaul

Due to the fact that I was bored this morning, my poor blog got an overhaul this morning. I'm not sure how I like it yet...soooo I may change it back later. Feel free to leave me comments/opinions on the new look!!

P.S. If you like my blog and read it, then become a stalker (/e points to the right hand side bar), and follow my blog! It's sad that it says zero, so don't leave me hanging!!

Writers Meet Up

One of my new "activities" that I decided to try out as an attempt to get out a little is a writers meet up group that gets together monthly. My mom (who was still here) was a champ and came with me so I didn't have to go it alone, and I think she even came away a little inspired to write. She makes a fabulous editor - red pen in hand, and I still have memories of school papers that looked like a small animal had died on the pages. However, I am very much a better writer because of her, and I think it will be fun to see how she ends up developing into a writer herself. Ok, so back to the group. I was very impressed that it was so friendly, constructive, and yet everyone said something nice about each story piece that was read. Three people had brought work to share, and copies to allow people to make comments on or help correct. They were read allowed one by one with great discussion following each about strengths as well as ways to improve. I found it immensely helpful, and not like some writers groups where you end up leaving with tears in your eyes, and your papers in ribbons. I look forward to next months meeting, and now I guess I should start working on something to bring. I'm more then a little nervous about letting people that I don't really know yet look at my work, but how can you improve if no one ever sees it? My other challenge is to actually write something to share. At this point in time I think you could say I haven't been inspired in the creative story department, I mean come on my life reads like a poorly written tragedy at this point, and getting in the mood to write something sounds slightly daunting. I guess that I should just start writing short little pieces see what develops, and not worry about whether it is a C.S. Lewis masterpiece. Let this encourage you though to go try something new! I'm sure that no matter where you live you can get involved with something that interests you!!

Otherwise, mom left this morning to head home after her wonderful two week stay. I had to do a little praying tonight though as I laid in bed, because I have been doing much better the past week or so, and I guess I almost felt like the injured bird having to use his wings again for the first time since he broke them. Its that fear of falling again, that the loneliness, sleeplessness, and emotional junk will come raging back stronger then before. Jesus was good though, and as I laid there praying he put the phrase "...wait on the Lord, and be of good courage..." in my mind. What a great reminder! In my weakness He is strong, I don't have to be able to handle it on my own, and better yet I need to remember to take one day at a time!! I know that there will still be hard/bad days, but Jesus never leaves us, even in the hard times He is there, and He wants us to rely on Him. Thankfully with my awesome family, and wonderful God I'm going to keep on keeping on!

Hmmm

I couldn't think of a title, so sorry!

The past couple days have not had anything specific or exciting to write about. Mostly due to the fact that I've been at work, which happened to be a decent couple of days, but unless you want to hear about babies, snot, children that don't want to breath, vital signs, and SFL's famous "code browns" that were more like code greens then there is not much to say. On the other hand I have continued to think about life here. The book that I'm still working on (While the Heart Waits) has been really great! Written by an Episcopalian women in Anderson, SC the book revolves around her personal journey through a sort of mid-life crisis, and how the Lord taught her the value of waiting. It seems so funny that I've been so into some books mainly written for 40 somethings when I still get the whole "are you 16?". Oh well - it doesn't subtract from the great ideas and true struggles in this book. Part of me at this point in time would love to pick up and get out before the going gets worse, but "running" isn't me, and neither is it what Jesus would have us do (although it is so appealing). In reality what will change? Sure you may have a new environment, or closer people that you know, but God always finds a way for us to work through our issues, and if we abandon ship for another boat we'll find ourselves in the same storm later on down the road. Personally why not learn my lesson now, or at least attempt too? We will see how my body does as to whether I look into switching to a day shift job, or what changes that brings. Otherwise, I'm getting involved in some activities in the area, and hopefully that is going to make a big difference.

Making my way

Well, the last couple days have been suprisingly good; granted I've been at work for them, but still every good day is one step up. Tomorrow I'm forcing myself to take a trip to the doctor - I'm such a bad patient. I should know better, but I pretty much need to be dying for me to go, as I'm just not a big fan. Hopefully though we'll get some good answers from the blood work I'm going to get, hehe the doctor just doesn't know yet that I'm getting it. I'll let you know how things go ;-). Otherwise, I'm all set to activitize (like my new word?) my life! My mom has been such a good sport about looking stuff up, and planning for some activities to start. I know I'm a little scattered tonight (I blame it on tiredness), but I thought I should give you all a little update - and hopefully I'll have a better one soon!

The Daily Struggle

First of all - thanks to you all for the prayers and sweet comments that you've posted. I really appreciate them all, even though at times I feel like I depress everyone around me, and I hate that. However, maybe some of this will help you guys at some point. Also, know that if you EVER need a shoulder to cry on believe me I am always here, and now I have so much empathy I'll probably cry with you hehe.

How funny it is that at one moment I am doing alright, and getting through while the next minute my stomach is in knots, and I'm struggling. This is such a weird season for me! At church tonight I had a really good reminder about how God's power is best displayed through our weaknesses, but man...this is not fun. Haha, that is hilarious! Why do I expect my struggles and weaknesses to be easy? Doesn't that contradict the whole point of a weakness? I guess I just think that I shouldn't have to go through this, that dealing with the physical is soo much easier then the emotional; boy was I wrong. *sigh*. You know how you have a picture in your mind of the perfect wedding, house, or kids? Yeah, well I had the perfect idea of what life would look like. I mean heck I've dealt with a lot over my 23 years, right? I was like; "I have this under control - I can deal with this". HAHAHA - yeah right, I didn't see this curve ball...so can't handle it. I'm like the kid that looks up at their Dad saying "Dad I thought I could do it myself, but I totally messed it up. Can you fix it?" (SFL - no panicking ;p).

My mom has been here for the past week or so, and that has been an awesome support, but unfortunately it doesn't fix it all. Can you be bipolar, depressed, and anxious all at the same time?? :p I know that working through things take time, but part of me wishes that I had a guarantee that I was working towards something. Right now its hard, I'm looking to the future, trying my best to eat well, focus on the good, get involved with people here (i.e. not being so isolated), and really get back to the Lord. Maybe it just takes time. I guess I'm trying not to change everything in my life, and instead give things time to help. Its easy to wonder if I should attempt to move to day shift at all cost (i.e. switching jobs), if I need to go talk to "someone" (/e thinks that I would tell them I same things I say here - and what are they going to say?), or explore the thought that all this originates from some physical ailment. Poor Paul!! How I can understand his "thorn in the flesh"!

Maybe this is Gods' way to strip my pride? It is so hard for me to look people in the face and say that actually life sucks right now. I feel like I'm always the one with a smile, and to have the table turned is very humiliating in a way because I feel like one of those people on Dr Phill who we all laugh at saying how messed up their lives are, and "if only they knew Jesus". Well, here I am, a roller coaster mess. I really do hope that this is a God lesson, but you know what - even if it isn't does that mean His is in any less control of it? No. I guess I just want the assurance that there is an end to this, that I'm going to get "back to normal", that I'm not going to turn into some permanent mental case. Well, on a positive note - if that happens I guess I can quit work, get disability (for some mental disorder), and learn to knit. Haha, ok I don't think that is going to happen, or at least I'm clinging to the hope that it won't. I've always felt that God has a plan for me (not that I know what that is). I think I'm rambling, but somehow you guys on here have been an awesome life-line for me to just pour out my mess. It's not pretty, it's not even something you probably want to read, but it's my story, so thanks for listening.

Forging Ahead

Once again we are looking down the long hallway of the coming year hopefully with anticipation verses the available and often appealing selection of negativity that so often clouds our minds. I am actually excited for this new year, knowing that this Fall has been much the season of shedding; dropping the leaves I kept to surround my lonely and not so visually attractive branches (fyi - its an analogy). How funny it is that I would love to jump right to spring, to see the beautiful blossoms emerge from the cold and dull limbs. However, the critical part is winter - that season of solitude; a place where surrounded by snow and frigid air the life source of the tree dives deep into the ground pushing its roots farther out, that it might be sustained in the harshest of environments. If winter was skipped the blossoms that follow would be an empty display, and not a wondrous celebration of survival and hidden growth. Growth that can not even be fully appreciated until later when hardships befall, and the deep roots have a source of life that was created in that place of "winter". Hehe, like my analogies? Ok, so maybe that isn't the life cycle of a tree at all, but it seems like there are so many things in life that the Lord surrounded us with to help us process. 

It was really interesting, the other night I was alternating between reading the Shack, When the Heart Waits, and my Bible when I kind of got this cool revelation. If you have already thought about this, ooor you think my discovery is weird/wrong I understand but once again its my blog so bear with me. Anyways, so in Genesis 22 God tells Abraham to take his only son Isaac to this land called Moriah, and on one of the Mountains sacrifice his as a burnt offering to God. Now I don't know about you but I always thought about this story as God trying to test the obedience of Abraham, a test which he passes, and God (at the last moment) spares Isaac's life providing a ram as the offering instead. While I was thinking about this, it really hit me that this is really like God showing us (from His perspective) how much he loves us. If you think about the story substitute God for Abraham; you and me, for Isaac; and Jesus for the ram. Think about how Abraham's heart was breaking thinking about the imminent death of his only son. How much more did God's heart break with the knowledge that we were bound for eternal death? Did Isaac fight his father? Asking him what the HECK he was thinking as Abraham made him carry the own wood that he would burn upon? Nope! Isaac trusted his father, that he would not do anything that wasn't in his best interest. How often to I complain to God as I'm carrying my wood up some mountain? How often do I plot and plan some way to get rid of what I carry, thinking that somehow if God loved me I wouldn't have to go through this. Yet was it because Abraham didn't love Isaac that he made him work to walk up the mountain? No, of course not! Imagine the horrid pit filling Abraham's gut as they got closer to the top of the mountain, he adored his son, after all Isaac was the fulfilled promise from God; it wasn't suppose to end this way. I just got this cool visual picture of God relating to us in the same way. 

-Now the story has limits of course, because it wasn't like God is under some other authority, or that God doesn't know the end to the story, but for the sake of my personal revelation try to hang in there with me.

How amazing to think about the provision of God that when "we" are laying on the alter we built with our own hands, with the very wood God had us carry up the mountain, that God provides a substitute. Jesus chose to be like that Ram caught in the briars, placed that He might be used as a burnt offering, the fragrance of His death going up and pleasing the very heart of His Father. I thought that it was a cool picture, albeit a slightly different way to look at that story. 

See my musings can be interesting from time to time...Stay tuned for more from the inner workings of my mind!!