New Gun Control Bill

So, WOT had received an email concerning some "Blair Holt" bill that was up in House of Representatives, but she wasn't sure whether this was a real bill or not. I did a little looking, and I'm sure there is more out there, but if you check out the website below you can read a full copy of said bill.

http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-h45/text

This bill is a major step in controlling guns/firearms, and personally I think goes against a lot of my values. Unfortunately, I don't know how much publicity this bill will get, so please take a read, and then write to your representative!!! The representative from Illinois, Mr. Rush I believe is the proposer of said bill. This looks legitimate from my preliminary research, so check it out if you care about policies on gun control. Lol, lets see how long it will take Texas to revolt if this gets passed..../e looks for a house in Texas...;-)

I apologize that it has taken me several days to become motivated enough to post, I think that being stuck at work often is the prodding I need to get back on the blog.

I've done pretty well the past several days, in part due to my fabulous friends De and Jo who stay up with me at all hours of the night playing scrabble on Pogo.com, complaining about their own lives, or just thinking of fun topics to discuss. Anything to distract and entertain. They are my night-time anchor, and not that I'm not blessed by multiple people, but these two are my companions in the night. I have decided that if they ever leave me hanging that I'm going to have to go out and buy myself one of those inflatable dolls like in Lars and the Real Girl, who can play scrabble with plastic hands. "Please" I begged "don't let me go down that road!"

My back is doing MUCH better, thank Jesus for the neuromuscular therapist!!!! It is still hurting me, but then again I'm in the midst of a three day work stretch, so what can you expect? I will take another visit to her when I'm done, and breath a sigh of relief.

On a side note before I have to go. I am just going to say that always thought that it would be easy to stick by your guns, and not compromise values. However, when life hits hard it can be so easy to slip. Thank goodness for grace, and friends. We are not alone...I think in part that's why I like this blog, because I just want to be honest about the crap that happens in life. How often have we looked at the person next to us, and condemned our own struggles thinking we're the only ones who fight against things! Think again!! We're all on the same boat, some times just in different parts, but still the same boat ;-).

My midlife crisis...

I think that I've forgotten what normal life is like. When do normal people eat, sleep, etc? I think that I no longer know....Actually, what is sad is that I don't even know if I'll be able to re-adjust to "real-life". At times I think I'd miss the late night chats with some of my friends on msn, or having that quiet uninterrupted time since no one else is awake. Then there are so many times when I think about what life was BEFORE work. Sleeping when it was dark out, feeling normal, having friends, being busy with school, etc. Hmmm, how can two years some how make 22 seem like so long ago? I really have trouble remembering some times what it was like...

This is really just my own ramblings so please feel free to skip over!

I've been thinking a lot about how moving or something might help me not feel so insane, but then I realized that perhaps it wouldn't make a difference. There are people who have worked nights for years, I wish I knew their secret. Its not that I have trouble staying awake, actually I think I've become a little bit of an insomniac (perhaps part of the issue). Then I thought, well maybe its due to me spending too much time on my computer, but to be honest what else do you do at 2am when everyone is sleeping and you're wide awake? I think I would go more insane if I wasn't on my computer. I've also thought that maybe it is due to the fact that with my weird schedule I no longer have any purpose in life other then work. It has become my personal opinion that that is why people have a midlife crisis, it just usually doesn't hit until your 40-50s. I mean think about it! Most people get married, have kids, etc in their early twenties thereby making those years very busy after college. Once 40 comes around though and all the kids leave the house then reality sets in, and the search for significance is on. Some people fill their lives with work, projects, hobbies, etc and I think that those people tend to weather midlife better than those that are left empty handed.

Unfortunately, I think I've hit midlife 20 years too early. Not that being independently single is a bad thing, after all there are some great pros to singledom. However, I've hit that wall of lonely meaninglessness...Perhaps that is part and parcel with everything I've been struggling with, and working to overcome.

Don't get me wrong, work is starting to even out, and not be nearly as stressful as it was. The other days of the week though I try to find something to do. I've attempted some painting and drawing, reading, my computer, going for walks, and just about anything else around the house. That's why I've joined the book club, and writer's group. I've also looked into volunteering at the local animal shelter, joining the ymca, and thought about maybe helping out at the church. I know I can't force some "meaning" in life, but it is a very frustrating experience to feel like you don't even live in the world any more, like times you're awake or asleep just pass you by like zombies.

As depressing as that sounds I'm still pushing through. I'm still trying to eat like I should, get out of the house, sleep (which I think really does negatively effect me when I miss it), and find some things where I can meet people. Let me tell you, its hard!!! I think I sound worse on here then I do if you talk to me, because it a lot harder for me to describe whats up when I talk - I just come on here and vent it all out. I just keep thanking Jesus for family and friends that I can talk to day or night. I also keep telling myself that its ok to cry, be nervous, or vent emotions its better then bottling it up! The brain is an amazing yet scary thing - and I know that God made us to be whole creatures delighting in Him, and wholly abandoned to Him. How hard that can be to walk out in daily life!

I feel like this blog is turning into the depressing rantings of some lunatic, haha...I hope though in some small corner of your heart it encourages you that there is hope, that you can keep pushing on no matter what you're going through, and no matter if there is not another soul who can see the tears running down your heart Jesus sees them all. I like to think that one day when I get to meet Him he will hand me my bottle of tears (seen and unseen), and I will kneel before him and wash His feet with the tears of my brokenness.

On the Floor

Thinking about a specific person this morning had me thinking about floors. Now you may wonder the connection, and it is simply that said person has on more then one occasion experienced a night's sleep on the floor. I'll come back to that...

So, I've been continuing to stay pretty positive, and keep my emotions in check. I actually almost laughed when the neuromuscular therapist today (on her own) just said how she thought I had one of most positive happy spirits she'd seen. Haha!! I mean I know that that is my natural personality, but after the Fall I've had I really do feel anything but positive and happy for the most part. I will confess that I made a poor choice tonight, which I think has in part led to my feeling very off/emotional this morning. I should have gone to worship tonight, but I didn't really want to, and I thought meh its no big deal. Well....I think it was a bigger deal. Not that going to church in and of itself was the deal, but it was that I passed on the opportunity to get out for the night. It's so hard when you don't feel like it!!! I know that there is church tonight also, and worship on Tuesday, but I guess I just took a couple steps backwards tonight. How frustrating it is!! I totally get Paul's talk about how he does what he knows he shouldn't do, and doesn't do what he knows he should. It is a hard, very frustrating experience!!

So how does this relate to floors?? Well actually now that I'm here I have no idea!! I just was thinking how our perspective often changes when we're on the floor. We notice the hardness, the uncomfortableness that we never think about when we're in a chair, or merely walking. Somedays I think the floor is the most stable object in life. Gah, I really have no idea where I'm going with this...I think I mainly wanted something to talk about at 5 am when I can't sleep.

I'll post more soon, hopefully a happier topic!! :-) Thanks as always for faithfully reading, and sticking with my craziness.

I do apologize for my "absentness" the past several days, I have attempted to get my poor brain motivated to post something, but seeing as I have worked four out of the last five days I will not condemn myself too much. Unfortunately, it seems that I might also be developing a slight cold with a possible ear infection. I had my first and only ear infection when I was 17 or so, therefore on the verge of another one is not exactly a thrilling thought. I sat on the couch this morning with some hydrogen peroxide in my ear seeing if it would help to kill anything down there. I will let you in on a little secret. Peroxiding my ears is a guilty pleasure of mine! A friend and fellow nurse introduced this past time to me about two years ago, and we'd sit at the nurses station around 3am and enjoy the bubbling in our ears. Now you can only do one ear at a time (and make sure to not get ANY in you eyes), put about 1cc/ml of peroxide in (I put a drop or two in at a time), then I like to let it bubble for 5 minutes or till I want to switch ears. Then the amazingly fun part is to clean your ears out with a Qtip after....ohhhhh its the best. It still hasn't helped me to really hear out of it, and it is a little painful, but we'll see maybe if it keeps hurting I'll stop by the MD.

Otherwise, its been an ok week, I haven't actually gotten to do a whole lot, and my pile of books to read really needs to be tackled along with my pile of laundry. I should have a little stretch of days off here soon, and I will try to get a great post put together at this point you are lucky I have the energy to do this!! ;-)

Sooo here is the new cat that has decided to visit our back porch at night for the past two weeks. He/she/it (I can't tell its too fluffy) is very nice and comes to let me pet it. I finally got a picture tonight, and determined that boy or girl the cat's name will be Rambo. Hehe, because its an out door cat of course (kitty with an A-K47).

We'll see what happens, I'm a sucker for poor homeless creatures. I did manage to get some flea stuff on it, just in case I bring it in and it has fleas, even if I never see it perhaps I have rid the world of one more flea....just saying you should all be grateful. ;-)

Because I feel bad for the cat I've been setting out some food for it (which I know only attracts other animals too, but I don't care). Well, last night I was sitting on the couch and I saw the movement triggered back light come on. There was a Lab eating the cat food, so I opened the back door. Does the dog run? Yes, but not without first grabbing the bowl in its mouth. I come running out the door after it yelling "give me my bowl back!". Yeaaaah, so I'm sure my neighbors think I'm weird...The dog did drop the bowl, but continued running - I haven't seen it since. Haha, WOT thinks that there are signs up around the neighborhood advertising free food. Which reminds me, this totally leads up to a GREAT bathrobe story!!! A side note, do you like the fact that it seems like most of the bathrobe stories include animals? Hmm, interesting...

Soul Time

I think everyone needs "soul time". You may think of it as "quiet time", but you know what I have come to believe that sometimes a "quiet time" is not what you need. Soul time seems to fit better. It can be singing, playing music, drawing, painting, reading the Word, or laying on the floor with your eyes shut as the dog snores beside you. What matters most is quieting the swirling chaos around us so that you can listen. I don't know about you but sometimes I think that I listen best when I'm standing in front of the keyboard playing the same three chords and putting my feelings into words. Somehow I hear Jesus. Your soul time is I'm sure completely different then mine, and that is awesome!! I think I use to get so bogged down in thinking that my time with the Lord had to be separated from my life. In college I had this revelation about how a relationship with God isn't a parallel line to our physical lives, where the two sometimes crossed paths (ie church). Instead a relationship with God is really like a new birth - its the beginning of a new life, a life where God is in every part and thought. You can go to the gym, the store, and clean your bathroom all the while dwelling with God. I don't know it was just such a neat thing to me at the time, and I think that coming back to that point is a great reminder, because it's so easy to forget.

Today I went to the Neuromuscular clinic, and it was FABULOUS! She was able to target my back pain, work with massage to correct it, and give me tips to work on until I see her again. I am a little sore tonight, but my range of motion has already improved!! I am going to brag on Jesus a little. So, I called last night and left a message at the place about scheduling an appointment sometime, and in my head I was thinking that it would be great if I could get in the next day at about three in the afternoon, so I'd have time to sleep. Haha, so the therapist calls me this morning and says that she had a cancellation today for 3pm. Isn't God good?!! I just laughed so hard about how it was the exact time I had thought about. He has such a sense of humor! I had to call up WOT then and tell her how tickled I was that God put that all together - be encouraged, and give God a chance to change the little things in our lives.

The rest of my day I filled with grocery shopping, cleaning the house, walking the dog, making some yummy sweet and sour chicken, and watching a BBC film (which I might add had the girl from Narnia -Susan - when she was 8 or so). I was thinking about how this time last year I was getting ready to move here! How fast the time has gone!! Who knows where I'll be next year, it is hard to believe that life can change so quickly. Most posting later!!! Leave me lots of comments to comment back to!!

The Book List

My list keeps growing! Actually its my fault it seems that I'm addicted to the library, which means I need to get to the books, haha! The one kid at the library actually recognizes me now, which is also slightly sad. I must say though that I've found some good books - which I will continue to post on my little list. /e settles on the couch with some coffee surrounded by my stack of books.

Work is busy...I'm not at work though, so its all good.

My back, still hurts. I'm headed to the Neuromuscular clinic this week for some therapeutic massage time to see if that helps. I'll keep everyone updated!!

Sore!

My poor neck! I honestly don't know what I did to it except for wake up one morning with a very painful neck and back. I was thinking that it was mainly muscles so I thought I'd give it some time to feel better, instead of going to the chiropractor straight away. Well, it didn't get better, and I was so sore it hurt to turn my head, sleep, etc. As if I really needed something else. Anyways, I broke down and went to the chiro today, which was great he got my back alined, and worked on loosening my muscles. It was great but I am even MORE sore now because after an adjustment there is always swelling and stiffness. Gah - I'm in pain tonight. Along with feeling a bit emotional (pms?), and down I am trying to play some scrabble with my friend online to distract myself so I don't sit here with the kleenex. I guess having a week or two of better days makes a bad day or two live-through-able hehe. *Sigh*. If I get too bored tonight I'll post more fun snipets!

Burping Lobsters?

Today I don't particularly feel like laughing, however (chin up!) I am pushing forward. Therefore, I have another hopefully entertaining story for you. They say laughter is good for the soul, so just see me as your soul lifter!

*Note: this is a true story...

Not that long ago, in a Red Lobster not that far away worked a very gullible, but very nice hostess. Unfortunately for her, and those of us like her who constantly seem to find themselves on the wrong end of the road there is little to say but, "you have to learn to laugh at yourself". I think half the humor in this little excerpt is the fact that I can see myself falling for this...

One day this young hostess had finished her daily duties of ushering guests to their seats, handing out menus, preparing silverware wraps, and the several other tasks laid out in her manual. Only an hour or so stood between her and the door, so she found herself seeking out the manager to inquire after anymore work that might need to be completed. She found the manager leaning against a door frame talking to a talk lanky line cook that she had only met once or twice, but who seemed nice enough. Posing her question, the manager started to respond when the cook interjected. "You already burped all the lobsters?".

Both manager and hostess looked at the cook with wide eyes, "burped the lobsters? What do you mean?" She retorted. "I didn't see that in the manual".

"Well, it may not be in the manual, but it's still part of your job". Came the reply, the cook sticking by his guns.

The hostess looked confused, but ventured, "Oh, I didn't realize. I'm not sure I know how".

"Don't worry, I'll show you". With the cook leading the way both hostess and manager trailed after him towards the large water tank by the restaurant door, filled with 30-40 live lobsters, brightly colored rubber-bands around each claw.

The cook grabbed a towel and laid it across his shoulder (by this point several other employees had come to watch the proceedings). "Now you take a lobster like this", laying a lobster over his shoulder on the towel, just as if you would an infant. "And just pat it like so." He rhythmically thumped the lobster's back the poor creature not seeming to mind. The hostess still wasn't convinced, and looked skeptically over at the manager who stood two steps back. Another good pat and miraculously bubbles started to form at the lobster's mouth (it could not have been better timing). Eyes widening the hostess exclaimed, "ohhhh now I think I get it!" The cook nodded in agreement, and then placed the lobster on her shoulder, "Now you try it". The unassuming girl continued patting the lobster, while the cook stated that now she must continue to burp all the lobsters in the tank. The hostess agreed and continued her attention to the animal on her shoulder when the manager and the other observing employees could no longer contain themselves. Several crumpled to the floor in laughter, others had tears running down their faces as they roared with helpless glee over "lobster burping". It wasn't long, with all the laughter that the hostess realized that she had been had. Plopping the lobster back in the tank she stormed out of the restaurant the sounds of laughter still following her. She eventually forgave the cook, and came to look back on the event with a chuckle...

For those of us who are the gullible creatures of the earth, remember that even when you end up being the butt of someones joke, you are bringing laughter to many!!!